Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
This house was built for laser tag.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
you never un-have a 4some
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
