Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
