I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the day after is always just damage control
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
