NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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