never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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