I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
