She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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