pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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