My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
