yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
