Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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