oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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