she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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