FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
