Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
only you would photoshop your dick
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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