and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
