So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
