did you get engaged???
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
