Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize