well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
