Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
