She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
