Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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