I accidentally burped into my bong.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize