what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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