i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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