So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize