You work out of a Hotel?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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