I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
