I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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