found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
