hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
