ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
