So drunk its hurt
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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