I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
