I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
