I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I intend to get homeless drunk
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Bring me that man meat
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His nipple licking is glorious
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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