Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
