Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
