would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm having to shit out rocks
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
