I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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