It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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