Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
