Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
