yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
