He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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