sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
