I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
