are you so shy because you have an std?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize