I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize