I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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