And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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