How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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