arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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