OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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