I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize