Sponge bath it is.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize